Bad emotions freak the hell out of us. We do our best to avoid these emotions.
We even run away from these emotions by distracting ourselves away from them or deny their existence in the first place.
We look for strategies to feel good and positive all the time, and we desperately want a strategy to make these intense feelings go away.
But in reality, it doesn’t work this way.
In fact, even overcoming these emotions requires feeling them! You won’t just find a strategy that will suddenly, and magically, make you immune to these bad emotions.
When you finish reading this article, you’re supposed to have a new perspective towards emotions as all.
In other words, the way we look at emotions, and especially negative and bad ones, is distorted and we need to change it with a new way, a practical way.
Sadness Is an Emotion Too
And it has its own purpose as well, we need it in specific situations.
Sometimes we don’t ask for sadness, but some situations requires feeling sadness.
For example, you’ll feel sad if you lost a very important match, you’ll feel sad if your business fell apart, and you’ll feel sad if you lost a loved one.
Faking happiness and optimism in these situations will never work.
That will only result in suppressing the emotions of sadness, which will back fire at you sooner or later.
And sometimes sadness is a just a vital stage towards recovery, it has to happen in order for you to pick yourself up again.
Sadness is considered a problem only when it “breaks your legs” and makes you lose your mind.
If you felt sad to the point that you couldn’t do anything about your situation, or started to act like a victim, then sadness is more than just an emotion in this case.
It’s a problem in the way you think, in your attitude, not just sadness or bad emotions.
But sadness alone is just an emotion, and in specific situations it’s necessary.
Sometimes you need to feel it, see the ugly side, cry and then get back up again.
I’m telling you this because in reality things don’t go smoothly, sadness will visit you someday, it’s a part of life.
And sadness is here for a greater purpose.
I think sadness is here to make us realize that sometimes we need those down times to figure something out or come back stronger, or maybe something deeper than that.
The problem is that we instantly start fighting those feelings of sadness, or any negative emotion in fact.
We just want to stay up there, we want to feel good all the freaking time, we want our happiness levels to peak all the time, we want to become stronger without feeling these bad emotions, and we want to become emotional intelligent without having to deal with those hard feelings.
You Don’t Have to Feel Good All the Time
Now, before we go any further let me clarify what I mean by “feel good”.
This is like the concept of comfort VS. discomfort that we’ve talked about before.
Inside the discomfort zone you’ll have to face some unpleasant emotions, short-term pain in order to get long-term happiness.
While inside the comfort zone you’ll feel … comfort!
And this thing that’s called “comfort” is what, sometimes, people call “feel good”, and it’s what they want to be feeling all the time.
Also sadness and bad emotions are going to visit you, you can’t be feeling good 100% of the time, we’re not living in a perfect wrold.
Sometimes life will get harder and take this “comfort” away from you.
And also since you’re reading this article then it means you’re interested in self-development, and self-development isn’t a comfort road at all.
You have to consider those negative and uncomfortable emotions, they’re part of the process.
Most people try to distract themselves away from these bad emotions (for example, using bad habits)because they think that it’s not normal to feel bad, never grasping the fact that we as humans never grow and improve unless we taste both sides.
The Problem With Bad Emotions
They’re just misunderstood! Bad emotions on their own aren’t harmful.
They simply exist for a reason, either to push you to action or as a natural respond to some devastating events.
The problems start when you deny their existence, when you numb them, when you allow them to control your actions, when you allow them to affect the way you see yourself.
In brief, bad emotions on their own are tiny (and necessary) problems, deal with them in a wrong way and you’ll have big problems.
Sadness is a very powerful bad emotion, and it’s OK to feel sad when you lose something/someone who you love, but allowing this sadness to “break your leg” and make you lost isn’t OK at all.
And not facing those bad emotions is one of the fatal mistakes that you can ever make.
When you admit and acknowledge a certain emotion and become aware of it, things can become a lot easier.
When you don’t fight an emotion and try to deny its existence or kick it out, you’ll be in a different place.
In fact, there’s a therapy that is based on acknowledging your emotions first and foremost, Acknowledgement and Commitment Therapy.
All problems start when you don’t acknowledge the existence of the bad emotion, and things can get better only if you acknowledged it.
Respect your emotions. Respect those bad emotions and acknowledge them, and know that every single emotion has its own role and purpose, just let it do its job.
This is how you should treat your emotions, including the negative/bad ones
First of all, don’t try to fight them.
Every single emotion has a specific purpose, even sadness is there to help you cope with specific situations.
And understand this:
- Other emotions are inevitable and are part of our nature (e.g. feeling sad after losing a loved one).
In this article we’re talking about emotions like sadness or disappointment, those emotions that you feel when you get knocked down.
It’s OK to feel them, as long as you don’t allow them to destroy you or make you helpless.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling down, you can feel sad, depressed, frustrated or whatever and still get what you want and eventually on the long-term feel good and happy.
In fact, if you’re an ambitious person then you’re going to feel many of these emotions while working on your dreams.
And even if you’re only trying to live life peacefully, bad emotions can still visit you every now and then, life can knock you down.
Get down, feel the pain, let it sink, know that sadness has its role in your mental health as well and pick yourself up again.
Read more about emotions:
- The Truth About Negative Emotions
- The Truth About Uncomfortable Emotions and the Comfort Zone
- I Feel Nothing: A Brief Guide on Emotional Numbness