Have you ever heard the depressing quote that says “Whatever goes up must come down”?
In the terms of our success and life, those aren’t good news, we don’t want to go down after we climb our way to the top.
But it’s kind of true because eventually we’re going to leave this world one day.
Anyway, what does this have to do with overcoming fears or urges?
What does this have to do with overcoming anything?
Well, in this article I’m going to show you a method that if you used it probably, you can eventually overcome whatever you’re facing.
Whether it’s fear, urges, doubts or some of the bad emotions, it works.
You can even apply the same principle when it comes to social anxiety and shyness.
This method is called The Peak, and although it’s effective, let me tell you the bad news.
It’s not easy at all, it’s not a quick fix. In fact you can call it ugly, “un-sexy”, painful and an awful experience!
But it works like charm, and that’s the point.
And it works as a long-term solution, adopt it as your strategy to deal with discomfort and you’re all set to conquer the hardships.
Bottom line, it’s hard as hell but it works. The principle behind it is very effective and powerful.
Now let’s dive in and see what The Peak is all about.
How The Peak Can Help You Reach Your Peak
According to psychology, it’s believed that the human’s emotions like fear or anxiety don’t last too long, as long as we don’t try to escape from them or numb them.
It goes something like this:
Whether it’s an emotion like fear, or it’s an urge to do something we don’t want to do: it begins, reaches its peak after a while, then from there it will start to fade away by coming all the way to the bottom.
So, this method is all about knowing that cycle, what goes up must come down.
You feel the discomfort coming from that emotion, you hold your ground all the way to the top knowing that it will start to drop down from there.
It’s like fighting your way through the storm, it’s painful but eventually you know that it’s going to stop.
That’s why I said that is method is hard and ugly.
But each time you do this, you build up your strength to handle more stuffs, and with practice you can condition yourself to overcome the cycle of the fear that you have in any certain situation.
The Science Behind This Method
This is not just something that I came up with, it has roots into therapy and psychology.
This method is almost the same as a therapy that’s called the exposure therapy.
The exposure therapy is used to overcome phobias like fear of heights, snakes, closed places …etc, and it’s even used to deal with social anxiety.
And this therapy is all about exposing the patient to the fearful situation/object in a controlled and safe environment.
The patient starts with mild feelings of fear and anxiety, and when he/she gets exposed to that thing they fear the most, guess what will happen?
Their feeling of fear/anxiety will reach the sky, they may start to shake, cry or even scream.
But after a while, these feelings of fear will fade away, they will start adopting with the situation and feel less fear.
Sure enough this is done a couple of times where they get exposed to those fearful situations, reaching that peak and feeling OK.
And as the cycle repeated, they get conditioned and the whole fearful situation becomes normal.
So it’s all about reaching that peak, realizing that nothing will go wrong, letting fear fade away and repeating this over and over.
Also it has some roots into another therapy that’s called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which is based on not fighting our emotions.
ACT is an effective method when it comes to deal with bad emotions.
We simply feel our negative emotions, without any judgment, we don’t try to pretend they aren’t here, we just acknowledge them and feel them.
After that we turn this awareness of our emotions into a commitment, we decide that we’re going to translate those emotions into actions.
For example if you’re stressed out, you feel that, you don’t fight it, and you simply commit to do something like re-arranging your environment or just schedule a time to relax.
Putting This Into Action
Now the term “therapy” may sound intimidating to some people, and also the fact that sometimes we have much less problems that don’t require a therapy or something.
So, why not make a simple technique and a mindset that you can use when you face those fearful situations and undesired emotions?
That’s where The Peak comes into play, we can summarize everything into:
• Our emotions don’t last that long.
• They reach a peak and then start to fade away.
• The more we go through that peak and let our emotions (fear, urges, stress …etc) fade away, the more we can handle that emotions/urges in the future.
That’s everything you need to know, now how to actually apply this?
Next time you feel a bad emotion, feel it and don’t resist it, it’s going to peak and after that it’s going to fade away, and the more this cycle is repeated, the more this emotion will have less effect on you.
As simple as that.
DON’T GO ABOUT THIS THE WRONG WAY
This method will work on many emotions like fear, especially the fear of social interactions, however it has its limits.
You can’t use this method, alone, to deal with depression for example, it won’t simply peak and just fade away.
Emotions, like depression, that indicate there’s something wrong that needs to be fixed must be dealt with by taking actions.
Hunger (if you consider that an emotion 🙂 ), won’t just peak and fade away, you must eat to stop feeling hungry.
Feeling bad because of a problem in your life requires taking action to resolve that problem. Using this method alone can make things worse.
Instead you can use this technique as a part of the solution.
For example you’re working on solving the problem that’s troubling you, and at the same time you’re feeling really bad and you don’t feel like working.
Here you can go through those feelings of “not feeling like it” and beat them using the peak.
But if you used The Peak to escape the bad feelings you have because of the problem without taking any action to solve it, it certainly will backfire.
So be careful, this method is only here to help you handle bad emotions that stop you from taking actions and solving your problems.
Don’t use it to numb the problem its self by pretending that it will peak and then fade away.
The Peak method will help you overcome fears, like social anxiety, shyness and maybe even fear of public speaking.
It’s also beneficial when it come to deal with urges to do something you don’t want to do, like watching T.V or procrastinating instead of working.
This method simply says that our emotions don’t last forever, they start, peak and then start to fade away until they’re gone completely.
So standing your ground through an emotion like fear, through this cycle (starts, peaks, starts to fade) will help you deal with it better and even overcome it.
This is similar to a therapy called the exposure therapy where you will be exposed to your fears and conditioned to face them until you’re neutral with the situation.
However, emotions like depression for example shouldn’t be dealt with this way, depression won’t just peak and fade away.
A simple shift in the way you look at your emotions can make all the difference in the world.