Let me introduce you to the biggest con-artists in the entire history.
Those con-artists deceived millions of people and destroyed the life of thousands of millions.
They are really good liars. They don’t even blink an eye when they tell a lie. Heck, they can even sell cats to mice and feel no remorse when they do that.
Very smart, very sneaky, very subtle, very tricky and very dangerous. Those are just a few words to describe them.
And they have a whole army of dedicated, and ruthless, assassins who will help them reach their goal, which is destroying your life in case you’re wondering.
When they know that you’ve read this article, they’re going to rebel.
Questions are a form of self-talk and thus they’re one of the best ways to have a meaningful conversation with yourself. And thought provoking questions are one of the best ways to change your perspective.
Not only that, good questions can help you create a change in your life, get unstuck, change your beliefs and even help you change your mentality.
Don’t believe that?
Let me give you few examples.
So, you want to stop seeking approval from other people and become a well-rounded individual who has his/her own worth?
If your answer is yes then most probably you already know that seeking approval and validation from other people, and depending on that approval to measure how worthy you are, is a seriously bad thing.
Not only it’ll cost you your self-confidence, but also you’ll end up alone and get your hopes up as you’ll never be able to please everybody. (Read: How to be confident: 25 Professional Tips That Really Work)
As humans, we hate rejection, and we’ll do our best to avoid it.
The reason we hate rejection is that it makes us feel unloved and unwanted. Nobody wants to feel unloved and unwanted. Nobody!
That’s why we want to get approved by those around us. To some extent, it’s OK. But when it exceeds a certain threshold, it’s a problem.
When I tell people that pain is what drives and inspires me, they usually get surprised.
They tell me that I should be driven by something more positive. I shouldn’t do things just because I’m forced to.
But the fact of the matter is that all of us, at some point, are driven by pain and fear. And at times it’s a stronger driving force.
It’s not only about inspiration, but also desperation.
In this article I want to share with you few ideas about pain and how it can either drive us to change, or totally paralyze us and scare us to death.
We fear pain, we hate pain and we’ll do whatever it takes to avoid it.
And that’s totally OK; that’s like a survival mechanism. We avoid pain to stay alive.
But not all pains are created equal.
Jim Rohn once said “One of the best places to start to turn your life around is by doing whatever appears on your mental “I should” list.”
That’s very brief and very wise. I can see that if I did all the things that I tell myself that I “should” do them, I would turn my life around completely.
There are a lot of things on my mental “I should” list. I should do this, I should do that and I should’ve done that. Lots of should. And yes, I intend to take these “shoulds” very seriously and turn them into real actions.
In brief, it’s a very good advice. You already know how to turn your life around. You know, deep down, what you need to do, go out there and do it.
However, let’s take this good advice and put a spin on it. Let’s figure out how you can, in the first place, induce a change in your life and turn it around.
Tell me, have you ever met someone from your past and you noticed that he’s not the same person anymore?
He was shy and now he’s outgoing, he was fat and now he’s an athlete or he was the most pessimistic person you’ve ever known in your life and now he’s optimistic, confident and successful.
Have you ever looked into the mirror, saw a strange face and whispered to yourself “I feel nothing”?
It was like you weren’t happy or sad, you weren’t depressed or excited, and sure you weren’t miserable or satisfied. You just felt nothing.
You look at all the people who complain about their emotions and how it takes over their lives and make them miserable, and you really wonder what’s wrong with those people.
And you look at those who describe their emotions as euphoric feelings, you know tears of joy, and you have no clue how that feels like.
You just don’t belong to any of these groups of people. Your emotions are kind of numb.
It’s not a good thing to feel nothing at all. Emotions are a form of human’s vulnerability, and this vulnerability is what helps you connect, on a deeper level, with people and yourself.
Life can get very hard. It can knock you down. In a minute, you can find yourself in rock bottom. And at that time, you have two choices: to stay down there or to get your shit together.
That decision isn’t an easy decision. In fact, it requires a lot of courage.
It’s like falling into a deep hole. And you want to get out of there and reach the place that you want to reach. But the climb out of this hole is very hard and steep.
And it’s very tempting to just stay inside this hole and convince yourself that this is what meant to be.
But to actually decide that you want to get your shit together (a.k.a. climbing out of the hole) is bravery.
It means that you’re sick of being where you are and you want to be in a better place.
That hole can come in different ways.
It can be a bad habit/an addiction that you want to break, or shyness that you want to overcome. It might be self-confidence that you want to build.
Arousal addiction is something that is almost new, or at least its effects are becoming stronger.
It’s a serious problem that many guys are suffering from. But still it doesn’t get enough attention.
It wasn’t known few decades ago, and so were many problems that guys, especially young guys, are suffering from these days.
In this article, we’re going to learn about it.
First of all, even though this article is aimed for men on the first place, still women also need to learn about this monster that men (and all the society) have to fight.
One day, I was sitting down with one of my friends. ‘I hate my life,’ he said in sad tone of voice.
“You know, I even hate life, why am I living, I’m such a loser who does nothing but sleep and eat.” He stated that and started comparing himself to a pan saying that it’s better than him.
I wasn’t better than him back then. Maybe Not even better than that pan as well. I hated my life also, even though I had different ways to describe it “my life sucks.” However, it’s still a form of hatred towards life in general and towards mine specifically.
What I’ve learned is that there are stages of hatred towards one’s life.
It starts with “life sucks”, and it can reach a dangerous point where you not only hate your life, but that along with suicidal thoughts, or at least self-destructive behaviors (such as cutting or addictions/bad habits).
How to be confident is a question that troubles many people. With no real answers most of the time.
Just search for that question in google and you’ll quickly realize that you can find some good tips, but not good enough to help you build self confidence.
Why? Because many of them are superficial. Self confidence tips like “dress well” “exercise” or “think positively” aren’t going to help someone who suffers from lack of self-confidence because of deeper issues. Plus, they don’t really talk about real and solid self-confidence. They, the tips, dabble on the surface of the self confidence and character strength.
Those 25 tips are going to help you, just after you read them, to feel a little bit more confident. And after you actually start applying them you’re going to watch your self-confidence skyrocket everyday.
First and foremost, let me tell you why i decided to write this very important article as a list.